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Difficult

Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Commitment
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Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for the mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment.Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers readable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? Judith Smith speaks empathically to parents, acknowledging and illuminating the embarrassment, shame, and helplessness that women can feel when their adult children’s problems puncture their own feelings of self-worth. While the stories and lessons shared in the book touch all mothers who wish their children had married better, lived closer, or called more, Difficult speaks primarily to those mothers with children over thirty who have problems that interfere with their ability to be self-sufficient, despite their seemingly “normal” early childhood and adolescence. Difficult addresses this often-ignored topic which many families often keep secret. It not only creates a necessary public dialogue about a growing social problem, it also includes resources for getting help: finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child.
Acknowledgements Author's Note Part One Intro- Through A Mother's Eyes Chapter 1: What is a Difficult Adult Child? Chapter 2: Once a Mother, Always a Mother? Chapter 3: Give Me Shelter Chapter 4: Shame and Blame Chapter 5: Torn in Two Chapter 6: Mental Illness in the Family Chapter 7: Who Cares for the Mentally Ill? Chapter 8: Substance Abuse in the Family Chapter 9: Chromic Sorrow Chapter 10: Violence in the Family Chapter 11: Pain of the Past Part Two Intro- Small Steps Chapter 12: Stages of Change Chapter 13: Seeing and Not Seeing Chapter 14: Self-Assessment Part Three Intro- Helping yourself Chapter 15: Social Support Chapter 16: Self-care Chapter 17: Staying Safe Chapter 18: Helping Your Adult Child Get Help Chapter 19: What comes next? Appendix A: Resources for Mothers and Adult Children Appendix B: Research Methodology Appendix C: The Mothers Difficult: Mothering through conflict and commitment Table of Contents NotesIndex About the Author
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