Subsequent siblings, who are sometimes referred to as replacement children, were born after the death of a brother or sister. Their experiences are often unspoken; little has been written about them or from their perspective. This self-help, psychology non-fiction book breaks new ground by assembling rich and heartfelt life stories from a diverse group of subsequent siblings while also weaving in clinical literature and discussion. It is based upon over a hundred subsequent sibling interviews, which, to the authors' knowledge, comprise the largest and most diverse sample to date of subsequent siblings. Through the subjects' engaging narratives the reader can understand and empathize with some of the common obstacles and repercussions of the subsequent sibling role. Additional testimonies from parents and surviving siblings give the reader a clear vantage point of the complex and multilayered impacts of loss upon a family system. Those who are born after the death of a sibling enter a familial landscape that has been forever altered by loss. The book provides an overview of the parental experience of the loss of a child, explores the complexity of pregnancy after loss, and examines the intrauterine and attachment experiences of children born after loss. Some subsequent siblings are expected, consciously or unconsciously, to serve as a replacement for their lost sibling and to fill the void of loss. A variety of replacement dynamics may occur, and the subsequent child may be viewed as an inadequate replacement for a deceased and idealized sibling. The death of a child causes immense parental pain and impacts parenting approaches, perhaps resulting in impaired bonding or overprotectiveness of the subsequent child. The book will review common issues which subsequent siblings face, including survivor guilt, phobias, difficulties with identity formation, taking on caretaker roles, disturbances in bonding with parents, and a sense of pressure to heal their grieving families. As subsequent siblings were not born at the time of their sibling's death, their loss is often unrecognized and misunderstood. It is frequently complex for them to grieve for a sibling they did not meet, and to integrate their sibling's death into their life narrative. Like most mourners, many subsequent siblings have a need to make meaning of their loss. Some subsequent siblings can recognize strengths that they have gained because of their role. This book additionally includes chapters about surviving siblings, and children who were born after a sibling with special needs.
Sarah Vollmann is a registered, board-certified art therapist, licensed independent clinical social worker, and doctoral student in Tulane University's DSW program. She maintains a private practice with a specialization in grief and loss, and she is a faculty member of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition. As a member of the Artful Grief team of art therapists, she works with families facing suicide bereavement and traumatic loss. She is also the Lead Counselor at Buckingham Browne and Nichols School in Massachusetts, and an advisory board member of the Replacement Child Forum. She has published articles and book chapters on grief and loss, and she presents both nationally and internationally on art therapy, grief, and bereavement. Joann O'Leary has a PhD, MPH from the University of MN, and MS in Psychology from Queens University Belfast, NI. Endorsed as a Level IV research mentor in Infant Mental Health. She was 2018 Fulbright Specialist at University College Cork. Her research focuses on how perinatal loss and the pregnancy that follows impact families and has spoken nationally and internationally on this topic.
Acknowledgements Foreword Preface 1. The Subsequent Child Experience 2.The Narratives of Bereaved Parents 3.Pregnancy After Loss 4.Attachment Relationships 5.The Inadequate Replacement Child 6.The Gift Child 7. Meaning Making 8.Altered Parenting 9.Surviving Siblings 10. Born After a Sibling with Special Needs 11.Survivor Guilt and Idealization 12. Gender Considerations 13.Rebellious and Disruptive Behavior 14.Fears, Phobias, and Morbid Preoccupations 15.Caregiving Roles and Sensitivity 16.The Pain of Bereaved Parents 17.Loss in the Family and the Continuing Bond 18.The Mourning of the Subsequent Child 19.Subsequent Children Consider Parenthood 20.Silver Linings and Supportive Bonds 21.Words of Wisdom Bibliography Index About the Authors
