Reveals the candid thoughts and feelings of those most directly involved in adoptions: the adoptee, the adopters, and the birth parents. Adoption Unfiltered authors Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent) interview more than 30 adoptees, 20 birth parents, a dozen adoptive parents, and several industry professionals-all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption. While finding common ground in the sometimes-contentious space of adoption may seem like a lofty goal, it reveals the authors' optimistic aim: working together with truth and transparency to move toward healing. Flipping the typical script, in which adoptive parents take the lion's share of the narrative, this book leads with adoptee stories then moves on to stories of challenges and perspectives of birth parents-so often marginalized and silent. The third section offers narratives from adoptive parents who are working through their unique challenges. We also hear from adoption professionals, who share the challenges of operating ethically amid rampant unethical practices in the unregulated world of finding infants and children for homes. Finally, we hear from activists and adoption-competent therapists, offering their ideas to make adoption policies and practices better for all involved. Adoption is a beautiful experience but has challenges just like any other relationship or family system. The unique perspectives found here can help to smooth out the rough spots, celebrate the joys, and provide comfort and confirmation for everyone involved in the adoption journey.
Lori Holden, a veteran parent of two newly-minted young adults, writes at LavenderLuz.com and hosts the podcast Adoption: The Long View. She's the author of the acclaimed book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole (recommended by People magazine in 2021), written with her daughter's birth mom. She has keynoted and presented at adoption conferences around the US, and her work has appeared in magazines such as Parenting and Adoptive Families. In 2018, she was honored as an Angel in Adoption (R) by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI). She lives in Arvada, Colorado. Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard is the Director of Advocacy and Policy at AdoptMatch, where she works on public policy issues impacting all adoption-triad members. She's a birth mother who is passionate about raising the standards in adoption to better serve the children, mothers, and families affected by family separation. She has worked at various agencies and law firms in the adoption field and is also a co-host of the first-ever birth-mom podcast headed into its third season, Twisted Sisterhood. She lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. Sara Easterly is an award-winning author of books and essays. Her spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom , won a 2020 Illumination Book Award gold medal, among many others. Sara's adoption-focused articles and essays have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Feminine Collective, Godspace, Her View from Home, and Severance Magazine, to name a few. She previously led one of the largest chapters of the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators, where she was recognized as SCBWI Member of the Year. She lives in Vashon, Washington.
Reveals the candid thoughts and feelings of those most directly involved in adoptions: the adoptee, the adopters, and the birth parents.
Adoption Unfiltered is a dream come true. As an adoptee and the leader of an organization that values inclusiveness, collaboration, courage, and trust, this book resonated with me deeply. I found myself cheering the authors on as I read. We grow in our understanding through listening to others, hearing them, feeling with them, and honoring their lived experiences. Adoption Unfiltered provides a unique opportunity to do just this. The triad of authors--Sara, Kelsey, and Lori--structured their work and successfully collaborated to elevate authentic voices, with the adoptee at the center. They expose many of the raw issues, the ones that are hardest for many to acknowledge. The hard truths. They also provide sound suggestions for individual, and institutional, healing. Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.--Betsie Norris, adoptee, founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption--past, present, and future. Easterly, Ranyard, and Holden have written and compiled a book that everyone in the "adoption constellation" needs. As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space. I learned so much from every page in Adoption Unfiltered and I know that I will go back to it again and again. It is honest and it is a book of hope for the future.--Tasha Jun, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.--Ashley Mitchell, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation Adoption Unfiltered offers an unsparing deconstruction of the happy-ever-after conventional wisdom about adoption as it crushes the familiar tropes that portray adopters as saviors, birthparents as selfless, and adoptees as blank slates who need nothing more to flourish than a loving stable home. It casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees. The authors offer as a prerequisite to such reparation the ability for each member of the adoption constellation to see through the lens of the others and understand the depth and full dimension of their experiences.--B.K. Jackson, editor of Severance Magazine It's never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can't happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that--break down the walls to start candid conversations. This book amplifies the seldom-heard adoptee voice, expresses the journey of loss for birth parents, and includes the often dominant voice of adoptive parents. All parties agree change has to happen, but not until we pull back the veil and share rarely heard, raw first-hand experiences from those who have lived it.--Rebecca Vahle, MEd, adoptive parent, founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network The chapter titles alone should pull people into NEEDING to read this book. Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.--Rebecca Ricardo, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt As a foster parent educator, I am so excited that the book I have longed for now exists. Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.--Katie Biron, creator of the Family Connections Program(TM), author of The Love Tree, and foster/adoptive parent As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture. This is the truth of our experience, which so many choose to not want to understand. But understand we must for the sake of all families affected by adoption. I highly recommend this book to anyone considering adoption, or who is associated with adoption in any way. Adoption will continue to take place, but honest books like this will help make sure that this next generation of adoptees do not have to suffer in the way so many of us have and still do.--Zara Phillips, adoptee advocate and author of Somebody's Daughter At last, an honest, plain-speaking guidebook for those who navigate adoption's choppy waters. As a mother who relinquished my daughter in the dark ages of closed adoption, I was stunned by the brutal honesty of Adoption Unfiltered and cannot recommend this book more highly. Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption's loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together--and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.--Lorraine Dusky, author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark Groundbreaking! The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth-mother and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.--Angela Tucker, author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption What a welcome addition to our adoption libraries! Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted--adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.--Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of the nonprofit Creating a Family
