This book explains - as no other self-help book does - why and how the inherent difficulties entailed in the change process itself are daunting. Marty Babits, a seasoned couples therapist and educator, explains strategies and provides tips for grappling successfully with the challenges that change presents. This key aspect of working through relationship difficulties has, until now, been given short shrift in the popular and academic literature. Despite the central place of divorce in our culture, he teaches couples how to achieve a much greater impact in solving difficult interpersonal problems than is often thought possible. Babits helps couples to envision a place that brings their potential for love and compassion alive. This place, which neither partner can dominate and in which each learns to approach problems productively, he calls the 'middle ground'. Through a series of exercises, he equips couples to appreciate and actualize what is positive and possible in their relationship. This encouraging, yet realistic book empowers partners to negotiate differences, emphasize the positive, see issues from each other's point of view, defuse anger, and, as a result, rekindle warmth and love.
Marty Babits, LCSW, BCD (New York, NY), is a psychotherapist in private practice and a member of the Executive Supervisory Committee of FACTS (the Family and Couples Treatment Service) of the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy.
"According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship - whether straight or gay - should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries." Library Journal, Self-Help column, September 15, 2008 "This approachable if perhaps oversimplified self-help guide is refreshingly honest in its inclusion of gay couples, something that most guides overlook. Not only couples in crisis but newlyweds just beginning a life together can find valuable insights into how to appreciate each other's perspective and reach the middle ground before disagreements escalate into major problems." -- MonstersandCritics.com, January 12, 2009 "This key to learning the 'middle ground' oasis is a pick for any library, from health collections to general-interest lending libraries." -- The Bookwatch, The Midwest Book Review, March 2009 "Vivid guidelines, exercises, tips and vignettes bring the Middle Ground concepts alive. Readers welcome aboard." -- HappyCorner.com gift blog, January 12, 2009 "Anyone wishing to learn healthy new habits to practice in their relationships will find plenty of advice not just on how to fix damaged relationships, but to improve them going forward. This book will be very good reading even for those who think their relationships are in tip-top shape, too. Finding a balance and learning not to be too reactionary is difficult and not always rewarded in our everyday lives, so each of us could use some of the lessons, strength and power that can be found in Marty Babits' Middle Ground." -- Sacramento Book Review, July 14, 2009
