When the classical scholar Phineas Ort, Bogus U.'s first choice for president, disappears, the search committee decides to recruit a hit man to keep the fractious faculty in line. Phineas has been abducted by the Robaccia gang, who aim to install their own candidate in the president's office to cash in on Bogus U.'s well-known corruption. Christy Mahon, a former member of the Robaccia gang, now on the lam for having crossed its boss, Brooklyn Benny, has landed a job at Bogus U. as a janitor. Listening through a heating vent, he overhears the search committee's deliberations and decides to interview for the job, which he ultimately lands in a funny and subversive chain of events. Laura Favoloso, who has her own ties to the mob, works at Bogus U. and provides Christy with an insider's view of its inner workings and lower depths. Under Laura's influence and tutelage, Christy reluctantly begins to transform into a new man, and tries to institute rigorous academic standards, raising the ire and exciting the violent tendencies of the student population. But the student body is not the only quarter from which Christy must guard himself from mortal harm-a hit has been ordered on Christy, and he must use his old street smarts as well as his newly acquired political savvy to survive and protect his legacy.
Dedication Acknowledgment Disclaimer A Note about the Author How Phineas Ort Missed His Plane Brooklyn Benny Explains His Philosophy of Money How Christy the Chump Heard about Bogus U. A Day in the Life of Bogus U. Benny's Plan Takes Shape Christy Finds a Job How Christy Came to Eavesdrop Of Things Past and Present Mr. Hasty-Pasty Receives a Disquieting Telephone Call Mr. Hasty-Pasty Explains What Christy Learned from Eavesdropping How Christy Became President of Bogus U. Why Laura Favoloso Admired Christy the Chop The Board of Trustees Meets in Camera Christy Meets the Grand Vizier The Plotters The Viziers Express an Opinion Mr. Hasty-Pasty and Christy Come Face-to-Face In the Beginning Was the Word Brooklyn Benny Puts Out a Contract on Christy Phineas Ort Explicates Antigone Christy Surveys His Domain Night School Christy Looks in the Mirror The First Day Meetings, Meetings, Always Meetings Shakedown (An Extortion of Money by Devious Means) The Monroe Larson Case Doubts, Discrimination, and Deceits Christy's Recurring Nightmare Laura Interrogates Shawn Word Spreads: Christy's a Marked Man Christy Tries to Discover the Hit Man Creon's Defense Christy Wines and Dines Troxy Shawn Keeps a Clandestine Date Gretchen Edsel Takes a Lover Christy and Laura Discuss Money DeeDee Lite's Novel Begins Christy Makes a Tenure Decision Christy Goes to the Gridiron Christy and Others Discuss Monroe Larson Bang, Bing, Bam: A Detonation, Not a Chinese Dish A Break in the Case Detective Crankshaw Questions the Suspects Autumn Leaves and Mountain Walks Shawn and Millicent Go Shopping Christy Hosts a Dinner for the New Faculty Laura Reports on Her Findings A Home Away from Home The Heart's a State of Mind DeeDee Lite's Novel Takes Shape Jackie Brown Telephones His Girlfriend Phineas Learns a Few Scams The Best Laid Plans ... Phineas and DeeDee Have a Talk Christy and Laura Watch a Video Brooklyn Benny Huddles with the Hit Person DeeDee Relates Brent's Sad Tale The Police Issue a Report In Flagrante Delicto Brent's Escape from Hanoi One Happy Family The Spring Is Sprung On Easter-day, the Expose Christy and Laura Forge an Agreement Christy Inks His Name to a Contract DeeDee Concludes Her Novel Christy Reforms Bogus U. Commercial Ventures, Inc. Epilogue
