Shattered Lives bears witness to the lives of children who have experienced abuse and neglect, and highlights the effects of early traumatic episodes. Chapters take the form of letters to a child capturing their life experiences, hugely impacted by sexual abuse, parental substance misuse and loss, leading to feelings of shame, rejection and worthlessness. Batmanghelidjh offers understanding for those baffled by these hard-to-reach children and warns against stigmatizing them for their problem behaviour. In her critique of existing structures, she exposes the plight of children who are overlooked by the authorities and denounces those who value bureaucracy over the welfare of the individual child. Society's failure to acknowledge the truth of their experiences and act to change the environment in which such mistreatment can flourish is, she strongly argues, leading to the death of childhood. The book is a clarion call for change.'Camila's work with children who have suffered abuse, trauma and emotional deprivation is outstanding. To hear her reflect on their experience is always to have mind and heart expanded, and it is wonderful that we now have such reflection available in this book for a wider public - so that the urgency of what she is talking about just might at last make an impact on the public and on government.'- Dr Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury'This wonderful bombshell of a book is a sustained, honourable and timely paean of fury on behalf of the children whose murdered childhood haunts and damages us all. In these circumstances ''neutrality is offensive'' from all professionals and indeed adults who disguise the real level of pain they witness in children for the sake of easier research, policy, relationship with peers and superiors.'- Valerie Sinason, PhD, MACP, MInst Psychoanal, FRSA, child psychotherapist and adult psychoanalyst'Camila Batmanghelidjh is a remarkable woman, a child who grew up to fight for children and childhood. This is a truly remarkable book. We must all ensure that it becomes life changing. Politicians should read it with a view to examining why and how we let children fall between the cracks of societal aspiration, legislation and protection, to be damaged and then do damage to others. Public servants should read it to remember why they exist. As parents we should read it and then love and understand our children a little better in the future. Read it and weep. Read it and resolve that we must do better. If it was hard to write and at times hard to read, imagine what it was to live.'- Shami Chakrabarti, Director of Liberty (the National Council for Civil Liberties)'It's so clear, it hurts.'- Ruby Wax
Introduction.; 1. The Witnessing.; 2. Introduction to Therapeutic Thinking.; 3. Exploring the Impact of Sexual Abuse - Letter to Chardonnay.; 4. Shame - Letter to Daisy.; 5. Adaptive Violence - Letter to Mr Mason.; 6. Psychosocial Vulnerabilities Leading to Violence - Letter to Rocky.; 7. Cradled in Terror - Children's Capacity to be Violent.; 8. Legitimizing Neglect? Achieving the Best for Clients and Workers - Letter to Flower.; 9. Parental Addictions - Letter to Julie.; 10. Letter to Deny, Cry and Try. Conclusion.; Appendix 1: The Basic ''Who's Who?'' of the Therapy World.; Appendix 2: Substance Misuse: A Tourist's Guide.
'''The strength of Shattered Lives lies in Batmanghelidjh's passionate conviction that these children have been unjustly treated, but can be reached through the redeeming powers of understanding and love.' -Therapy Today 'This remarkable and moving book is not about Camila but about a small, representative cross-section of unique people who have come to her (and that of the organisations she has founded) for solace and for help. In a series of letters that Camila writes to them we learn the unfolding narrative of their lives, of how those lives were shattered by varying patterns of abuse and neglect; and, how slowly they were helped to piece together new possibilities and find ways forward out of often unimaginable difficulty. Each of these lives is unique but each is chosen to illuminate ways in which we might more effectively respond to the patterns of distress they reveal... At heart the book gives Daisy and Chardonnay, Rocky and Mr Mason a voice to articulate the ways they have been failed - and how ways may be found to transform that failure. As such the book is an indictment - one it would be easy to read uncomfortably and finds reasons to reject. However to do so would be to evade our collective responsibility to create a society that does genuinely care, both for the rights of the child and for their uniqueness as persons, allowing them the space to fully flourish. But, more than this, the book has an intensely practical purpose of educating us to care; and, though necessarily our attention is held by the stories, our feelings transformed by them, what most impressed me is Camila's ability to offer lucid recommendations for social and therapeutic practice. Care can only be as valuable as the intelligence as well as the compassion that informs it; and, this book compellingly offers both. It should be read by everyone who cares...' - Network Review - The Journal of the Scientific and Medical Network 'This is an interesting and powerful book, likely to provoke a real response from the reader.' - Newscheck 'It is the long distance work with children that counts. The willingness not just to reach out, but to stay with troubled children and young people, particularly when all instincts cry out against it.' - Young Minds Magazine 'Shattered Lives is an uncompromising depiction of child abuse and neglect, it's origins and its devastating effects through the experiences of the children with whom Batmanghelidjh worked. While the testimonies of the children's lives are the most powerful element of this book, it is so much more than a collection of anecdotes. Batmanghelidjh offers the reader an alternative view to the one peddled by sections of our media and policy makers, with its superficial understanding of the ills of our society. Shattered Lives is about a conviction and passion for children and young people subjected to the worst forms of suffering and an attempt to set their record straight. It both challenges and charges us as individuals and as a society with the collective responsibility of failing to protect and nurture these children. I can honestly say that reading Shattered Lives was an experience as opposed to an intellectual exercise - sometimes harrowing, yet not devoid of solutions. As a social worker with a background in working with children and families, the scenarios quickly took me back to many children and young people I've known and the painful experiences that they had to grapple with - often with amazing courage and strength. This book is a must for everyone who is serious about understanding the plight of abused and neglected children. It is a clarion call to challenge the malaise in policy and practice and to do better for our children.' - Children Now 'Unusual and compelling, those professionals involved in working with children and making decisions on their lives - social workers, health visitors, phychologists and doctors, family and youth court magistrates, would gain much insight from reading this book. It is a clarion for change.' - Magistrate 'Each chapter in this book tells the story of a child's particular trauma, and illustrates the feelings of shame, rejection and worthlessness that have resulted from their negative experiences. The author goes on to offer valuable advice for those wanting to better understand these hard-to-reach children - and she warns against stigmatizing children with problems behaviors.' - Child Welfare Report 'This book needs to be read by everybody, carers, politicians, teachers and those of us who think the problems of our society are nothing to do with us. I must end with these words by the author in her introduction, because they encapsulate the whole essence of the book perfectly: ''This book will make you angry and maybe you will cry at your own lost childhood, or the loss of these children. An apology to these children, and all those other children who deserve one, is the first step in reclaiming our capacity to care. Those of you who did not know the truth about these youngsters' lives - here it is to be witnessed.'' - www.adoption-net.co.uk 'I am a fellow worker with young people who have been excluded from school and I rile with frustration at the systems of injustice that face young people, the lack of care and compassion in schools by head teachers who see children, who have shattered lives, as being a thorn in their side because they don't fit the ''norm''. I have witnessed similar lives of the children you care for an I was moved to tears reading their life stories as it brings back the many children who lives I have witnessed but been unable to change due to ''red tape'' excuses. I thank you that your book makes it feel ok to love and care for these young people whose life stories haunt us day and night. To give permission to cry and get personal about a young person, to really care about them and be committed to helping make it better.' - Lucy Ball 'Camila Batmanghelidjh, founder off Kids Company, argues forcefully that every adult is responsible for protecting children and honouring childhood. The case studies are interspersed with psychological theory that explains the behaviour of the children and young people, again demonstrating the importance of nurturing and parenting. Anyone working with children in any capacity should read this book.' - Nursing Standard 'The book calls for proper support for workers and will help those that work with young people to acknowledge and understand feelings of hopelessness that they may experience. Ultimately, the book bears witness to the realities for young people trying to survive abuse and is a condemnation of the current society that fails to understand and protect those very same young people.' - Young People Now 'Camila Batmanghelidjh's Shattered Lives lays to rest many of the tabloid myths surrounding ''feral children''. The author, founder of the London project for the street children, ''Kids Company'', introduces us to young people who have been severely damaged by neglect and abuse.' - Tribune 'In Shattered Lives: Children who live with courage and dignity, Camila Batmangheldjh rails against society's fear and loathing of young people. She does this by tearing back the curtains to expose the harrowing stories of some of the ''worst'' of today's youth. She knows better than most who these young people are: as the founder of two charities, the Place 2 Be and Kids Company, she has devoted much of her life and formidable energies to working with the young cast-offs whom no one else wants to go near: teenage prostitutes, drug dealers, knife and gun-carrying toughs, crack and smackheads. And the rest. She embraces the kind of children that the rest of us avoid...Batmanghelidjh attempts to explain the vulnerability and defensiveness of these young people by revealing what lies behind their impenetrable, frightening masks.' - TES Book of the Week 'The jacket of this book declares it to be ''a clarion call for change''. I'm sure that everyone who reads this book will want to add their voices to that call - a call to re-evaluate the value placed on bureaucracy over the welfare of individual children, to look beneath and understand problem behaviour and to act to change the environment in which abuse can flourish. The power of this moving book lies in the way that the author has laid bare the truth of how children and young people experience sexual abuse, neglect, parental substance misuse and loss and rejection and how problem behaviour is often a direct consequence of these experiences. Each chapter of the book takes the form of a personal letter from Camilla Batmanghelidjh to a young person she has worked closely with. In the letters she bears witness to their painful stories, shares her understanding of how those experiences manifested themselves in their behaviour, reminds them of their courage and unique talents and, perhaps most importantly, she apologises on behalf of every adult who has failed them...This book is a must for everyone working with children and young people. Deeply moving in everyway, this book demands more than our tears.' - 0-19 Magazine website 'Camila's work with children who have suffered abuse, trauma and emotional deprivation is outstanding. To hear her reflect on their experience is always to have mind and heart expanded, and it is wonderful that we now have such reflection available in this book for a wider public - so that the urgency of what she is talking about just might at last make an impact on the public and on government.' - Dr Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury 'Shattered Lives is a much needed and timely book. No one understands or has done more with socially excluded children in Britain than Camila Batmanghelidjh. She responds to them with respect and understanding and has broken through where so many others have failed. In an age of widening disparities between rich and poor, this is a book of hope. It is also a call for action from so many more of us to expand and support the opportunities that Camila and Kids Company have forged. They need to be replicated across Britain if we are to avoid creating an entire generation of excluded and destroyed young people.' - Jon Snow, journalist and broadcaster [long] 'Shattered Lives is an illuminating picture of the compassion and determination needed to provide the social and therapeutic experiences which can transform the lives of the children whom society has rejected. Helping abused and neglected children to find ways of coping with the fear of their past trauma can have a lifelong impact on the future well-being of society's most vulnerable group. By learning how to contain their fears, these children can find the courage to trust others enough to form loving attachment bonds and hope for a more settled future. Camila Batmanghelidjh has the rare gift of helping the reader to feel empathy with the challenging behaviours and complex survival strategies that very traumatised children often develop, and then present the relevant theoretical models of neurobiology and developmental psychology that underpin her innovative therapeutic practice. Her lifelong determination to provide a haven of safety and joyful opportunities for children's social and emotional development at Kids Company is testament to her enduring compassion, skill and persistence in the face of overwhelming difficulties - not least from bureaucracy and prejudice. This book must be read by everyone - social workers, therapists, teachers and policy makers - who touch the lives of children who have been shattered by fear, humiliation and rejection. It provides insight, hope and respect for the children who have survived against the odds, and for all those who care about them.' - Richard Bowlby [short] 'Shattered Lives portrays the compassion and determination needed to provide the social and therapeutic experiences which can transform the lives of the children whom society has rejected. By learning how to trust in people and contain their fears, these abused and neglected children can find the courage to form new attachment bonds, and the hope of a more settled future. Camila Batmanghelidjh has a rare gift for helping the reader to feel empathy with the challenging behaviours and complex survival strategies that very traumatised children often develop, and for explaining the neurobiology and developmental psychology that underpins her therapeutic practice. Her lifelong determination to provide a haven of safety and joyful opportunities for children at Kids Company is testament to her enduring compassion, skill and persistence in the face of overwhelming difficulties. This book must be read by everyone - social workers, therapists, teachers, policy makers and all who touch the lives of children who have been shattered by fear, humiliation and rejection.' - Richard Bowlby 'It's so clear, it hurts.' - Ruby Wax 'I can't remember ever having been so affected by a book about the country I live in. Each child you write about tells me something new about the kids I see on the street. - Danny Kruger, Chief Leader Writer, The Daily Telegraph 'I wanted my letter in the book because I want the council and people who care for kids to know the truth.' - Chardonnay 'Having Camila write to me in that way was a truly amazing experience. There are no words to describe the feelings that my letter provoked. My chapter brought about a profound sense of closure.' - Daisy 'This wonderful bombshell of a book is a sustained, honourable and timely paean of fury on behalf of the children whose murdered childhood haunts and damages us all. In these circumstances ''neutrality is offensive'' from all professionals and indeed adults who disguise the real level of pain they witness in children for the sake of easier research, policy, relationship with peers and superiors.' - Valerie Sinason, PhD, MACP, MInst Psychoanal, FRSA, child psychotherapist and adult psychoanalyst 'Camila Batmanghelidjh is a remarkable woman, a child who grew up to fight for children and childhood. This is a truly remarkable book. We must all ensure that it becomes life changing. Politicians should read it with a view to examining why and how we let children fall between the cracks of societal aspiration, legislation and protection, to be damaged and then do damage to others. Public servants should read it to remember why they exist. As parents we should read it and then love and understand our children a little better in the future. Read it and weep. Read it and resolve that we must do better. If it was hard to write and at times hard to read, imagine what it was to live.' - Shami Chakrabarti, Director of Liberty (the National Council for Civil Liberties) 'The book has an intensely practical purpose of educating us to care; and, though our attention is held necessarily by the stories, our feelings transformed by them, what most impressed me is Camila's ability to offer lucid recommendations for social and therapeutic practice. Care can only be as valuable as the intelligence as well as the compassion that informs it; and, this book compellingly offers both. It should be read by everyone who cares...' -Nicholas Colloff 'Dignity out of Chaos'''
