As an adoptee, do you have mixed feelings about your adoption? If you do, you are not alone - adoptees often experience complex feelings of grief, anger, and questions about their identity.
Sherrie Eldridge is an adoptee and adoption expert, and in this book she draws on her personal experiences and feelings relating to adoption as well as interviews with over 70 adoptees. Sherrie reveals how you can discover your own unique life purpose and worth, and sets out 20 life-transforming choices which you have the power to make. The choices will help you discover answers about issues such as: Why do I feel guilty when I think about my birth parents? Why can't I talk about the painful aspects of adoption? Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem? Sherrie also addresses the problem of depression among adoptees and common dilemmas such as if, when and how to contact a birth mother or father.
This fully updated second edition includes new material on finding support online, contacting family through social media, and features three new chapters, including Sherrie's story of reuniting with her birth brother, Jon, in adulthood.
PART 1: Our lifelong search for truth. 1 Caught unaware, 2 Preparing to grow. PART 2: Twenty truths and twenty choices that can transform. 3 Thoughts about our birth parents are innate, 4 Painful feelings about our adoption are normal, 5 Learning about adoption dynamics will help us relax, 6 It may often seem like no one 'gets it', 7 Share deep feelings only with 'safe' people, 8 We can control our anger -- really!, 9 We can get unstuck from our painful past, 10 Many of us experience echoes of loss, 11 An Hour with a Fellow Adoptee Is Better Than Therapy, 12 False guilt shouldn't stop us from considering a reunion 13: Search and reunion may become a top priority, 14 We don't need to fear seeming ungrateful or disloyal, 15 We must give up being pleasers, 16 Taking concrete steps toward obtaining our pre-adoption history requires courage... we can do it!, 17 When we feel overwhelmed we must be gentle with ourselves, 18 Birth relatives may reject us, but there's someone who never will, 19 The word 'rejection' may not be in the vocabularies of other birth relatives!, 20 Letting go of our birth mother's original decision will set us free, 21 Our footsteps are unique across the sands, 22 We can help others by being transparent, Appendix, Notes
It is impossible to articulate how life-changing Sherrie Eldridge's book has been for me! This book gave voice to my thoughts, emotions, and actions that were holding me back from fully living the life I was created to live. Eldridge uncovers the common threads adoptees hold on to throughout our lives, including grief, loss, rejection, fear, hope and love. Many clients say, ""I wish I had known about this resource years ago"".
