This practical, politically neutral book offers concrete skills for holding meaningful conversations that cut across today's intense political divide, showing readers how to connect to the people in their lives. Chapters show readers how to develop and use the scientifically-proven skills that are the foundation of constructive conversation, including strategies for effective listening, managing emotions, and understanding someone else's perspective, as well as finding common ground, avoiding self-righteousness, and telling your own story. Throughout, conversation prompts, practical exercises, case examples, and self-quizzes help readers visualize and practice starting, sustaining, and ending challenging conversations.
Introduction: The State of Our Union Moving Beyond Our Bubbles My Experience with Dialogue How to Use this Book Chapter 1: Getting Started: The Basics of Meaningful Dialogue What Kind of Conversation Are We Talking About? Dialogue, Discourse, and Debate What Inspires or Interferes with Dialogue? Two Things to Do Chapter 2: Preparation for Dialogue Getting Past Anticipatory Anxiety Warming Things Up Invitation to Dialogue Communication Guidelines Structuring the Dialogue Chapter 3: Why Listen? Learning How to Listen Nonverbal Attending Reflecting Open-Ended Questions Applying Listening Skills to Dialogue Across Political Lines Overcoming Common Blocks to Effective Listening Final Thoughts on Listening Chapter 4: Managing Emotions Fight, Flight, Freeze Forward Shifting Our Minds Deescalating Conflict Noting the Emergency Exits Individual Differences in Managing Emotions Emotion Regulation Chapter 5: Cultivating Understanding Distorted Perceptions Warming Things Up Perspective Taking Learning About Other People How to be Righteous without Being Self-Righteous In Sum Chapter 6: Talking Skills Do I Finally Get to Speak? Telling Your Story Bridging the Divide Common Ground Persuasion A Caveat Chapter 7: Dialogue Skills in Context How Invested Are You in the Relationship? Skillfulness in Dialogue Distance Between Views The Politics of Pizza Identities and Affiliations Are You Ready for Dialogue? Invitation to Dialogue Communication Guidelines Structuring the Dialogue Chapter 8: Dialogue Skills in Action Strengthening Dialogue Skills Action Plan Exiting With Intention Integrity Grace The Power of These Skills Appendix A: Resources Appendix B: More Activities
