Working With Parents of Bullies and Victims

Walter B. Roberts, Jr., is a professor of counselor education at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He began his career in education as a classroom teacher in 1978 and later served as a school counselor before moving to higher education in 1993. In addition to being licensed for private practice, he has extensive public policy experience in mental health and school safety issues, consults and testifies with legislators and the judicial system, and is a frequent source with the media on counseling-related issues. Bullying from Both Sides, his first book published by Corwin Press in 2006, continues to be a bestseller.

Preface Acknowledgments About the Author 1. Every Parent's Nightmare--and Yours, Too! Who Will Benefit From This Book? The High Cost of Ignoring the Problem How Educators Have Overlooked Parents as Partners How to Use This Book With Parents 2. What Bullying and Teasing Do to Everyone--Kids, Adults, and Communities Death Comes to Lake Wobegon When Intervention Stops Tragedy The Pain That Resonates to the Bone How Everyone Loses When Bullying Occurs 3. Why Parents Complain About Schools' Responses to Bullying Parents' Attitudes Toward Public Schools: The Statistics About Those "They Didn't Do Anything" Claims Documenting the Facts on Interventions 4. How to Talk to Parents Whose Children Are Bullied Parents of Bullied Children: The Two Camps Working With the Actively Involved Parent Working With the Less Actively Involved Parent The ?Inverted Curve? and Tension Cycle 5. How to Work With Parents Whose Children Bully Others Some Things to Keep in Mind About the Families of Aggressive Children Television?s Impact on Children and Bullying KISSing a Plan Increases the Chances of Success for Everyone 6. The Parent Who Refuses to Cooperate Subverting the Dominant Paradigm Conflict Resolution With Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate Eleven Global Approaches Toward Conflict Resolution 7. Types of Difficult Parents The Parent Bully The Silent Treatment The Staller The Negative The Complainer Know-It-Alls Angels What About Mediation and Negotiation? 8. Helping Parents Talk at Home With Their Children About Misbehaviors Helping Parents Understand Punishment, Accountability, and Restitution Restorative Justice Helping Parents Help Their Child to Think About Righting a Wrong What Happens After That First Step? 9. Seven Talking Points for Helping Parents Talk to Children About Being Bullied Talking Point 1: Help Parents Understand the Importance of Listening to Their Child?s Concerns About Bullying and Teasing Talking Point 2: Asking the Right Questions Will Likely Increase Parent-Child Communication Talking Point 3: Parents Want to Obtain as Many Details as Possible in an Understanding Fashion Talking Point 4: Parents Need to Assure Their Children That They Will Work With Them to Find a Solution to the Problem Talking Point 5: Parents Should Ask the Child?s Opinions and Concerns About Discussing the Situation With School Personnel Talking Point 6: Encourage the Child Not to Respond to Provocation With Violence Talking Point 7: Parents Should Encourage Their Child to Ask Those in the Supervisory Capacity for Assistance 10. Fair Expectations of Parents and Educators in Solving the Problem of Bullying Fair Expectation 1: Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented Fair Expectation 2: Once Bullying Has Been Reported, the Parent Has the Right to Expect the Supervisory Authority to Investigate the Concern Fair Expectation 3: Parents Expect the Supervisory Authority to Investigate the Concern Fair Expectation 4: Appropriate Intervention Will Take Place If the Concerns Are Validated Fair Expectation 5: The Supervisory Authority Will Communicate With Parents as to the Outcome of the Intervention Fair Expectation 6: Never Forget Fair Expectation 1?Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented 11. The Courage to Act References Index

"This book is a no-nonsense approach to working collaboratively with parents, students, and administrators to stop bullying situations and prevent bullying in the future. It provides practical, easy-to-use techniques and strategies that can be adapted for different situations. A must-have for educators who want to instill changes." -- Leigh Cassidy, High School Counselor "This book provides practical and useful strategies for educators to engage parents as partners in the difficult but important task of addressing bullying, both as it occurs and in a proactive and preventive manner." -- Sandi Stein, School Social Worker "This is an informative, practical, and thought-provoking book on an important subject neglected by both researchers and writers. It is full of down-to-earth, commonsense advice that educators will find very helpful in addressing a difficult and complex issue. I will share it with my colleagues." -- Rob Osborn, Anti-Bullying Strategy Manager "Perfect for college-level libraries appealing to educators and for working professionals in the field. The lessons are for administrator and teachers alike and use case study examples to reinforce real-world solutions." -- The Bookwatch, March 2008 "The book's accessible style is relatively free of jargon, and provides numerous case studies to assist teachers and counselors in conducting productive conversations with parents." -- CHOICE Magazine, June 2008, Vol. 45(10)