Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5

Ronald Mah, an educator and licensed marriage and family therapist, has worked in early childhood education for 16 years. A credentialed elementary and secondary teacher, he is the author of Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood and The One-Minute Temper Tantrum Solution (2006 and 2008, Corwin Press). He wrote the Asian Pacific Islander Parent Education Support curriculum (DHS-San Francisco, 1996). Mah has DVDs on child development and behavior (Fixed Earth Films), and has been involved in community and high school mental health clinics, severe emotional disturbance, at-risk youth, welfare-to-work, and Head Start programs. A graduate college instructor and Board of Directors member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and of the California Kindergarten Association, Mah combines concepts, principles, and philosophy with practical techniques and guidelines for effective and productive results. Mah has a psychotherapy practice in San Leandro, California where he works with children, teens, adults, couples, and families.

Acknowledgments About the Author Introduction Inclusion Means... Inclusion Means More Inclusion Means Less Educational Challenge Exclusion...and Bullying Compromising the Intent of Inclusion Continuums or Labels Three Perspectives 1. Inclusion, Exclusion, and Bullying The Chicken Spends Its Whole Life... The Hawk Spends Its Whole Life... Anxious Vulnerability Please Please Please... The Loud Aggressive "Victim" Becomes a Bully Victim Entitlement to Bully and Intellectual Bullying Classification Creates Targets for Exclusion 2. The Stress, Frustrate, Fail, Suffer Method and Emotional Intelligence The Real World The First S Is for Stress--Stress 'Em! The First F Is for Frustration--Frustrate 'Em! F Is for Failure--Let 'Em Fail! (Make Sure They Fail!) The Second S Is for Suffer--Let 'Em Suffer Emotional Intelligence 3. Create Powerful and Successful Children Win So He Would Throw a Tantrum The Next SS Is for Sensitivity and Support The Next SS Is for Skills and Strength SF Is for Survive and Flourish 4. Social Cues Who Is This Kid? Reasons Individuals Don't Get it! 5. Reasons for Missing Social Cues Physical Disability--Compensation (No.2 of 11): "What? Huh?" Cross-Culture Issues--Cross-Culture Education (No. 3 of 11): "So that's what you mean!" Overstimulation--De-Stress (No. 4 of 11): "I'm tired. I don' wanna have fun!" Denial--Alleviate Fear (no. 5 of 11): "Nah, nah, nah!" Anxiety--Stabilize and Secure (No. 6 of 11): "What? Where? Watch out? Where? Now? Oh no!" Neurosis--Reality Filter or Check (No. 7 of 11): "That was then, and this is then." Dissassociation--Trauma Work (No. 8 of 11): "Click...This station is no longer broadcasting...or receiving." Learning Dissabilities--Compensation (No. 9 of 11): "Trying hard, harder, and harder..." Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (and Attention Deficit Disorder)--Focus (No. 10 of 11): "Attention wanders..." Intoxication and Substance Abuse--Sobriety (No. 11 of 11): "Common adverse effects..." 6. The Victim Dynamic Why Do You Pick Up Crying Babies? Victimized by Victims Reversing the Dual Theory of Frailty How Victims Are Created 7. Creating Bullies A Blustering, Browbeating Person Bullies, Aggression, and the Search for Self-Esteem "Who Are you Looking At!?" "Huh? What?" 8. Relational Aggression "You Can't Come to My Birthday Party" What Do You Mean..."We?" 9. Frustration to Resentment to Aggresstion Lost Self-Esteem Bullies With Learning Disabilities Bullies With ADHD 10. Arrogance and Entitlement Bullies With Asperger Syndrome Bullies With Gifted Abilities 11. Motivation and Survival Adult Stress, Frustration, Failure (and Suffering) "Or Else What?" Internalized Motivation Cultural Characteristics of Children With Challenges Conclusion The Ninety-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan A Last Thought References Index

"This is the first text I've read that connected specific disabilities to bullying. The material is informative, relevant, and thought-provoking. A useful tool in understanding the evolution of a bully and the necessity of early, appropriate intervention." -- Karen Thomes, Early Childhood Special Educator "What wonderful insight Mah has into the workings of classrooms. This book applies to all children. This is a valuable read for both parents and teachers. I have been in education for over thirty years and found this book very beneficial. I loved the 90-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan. Thank you!" -- Kathy Gallagher, Kindergarten Teacher "I have been a therapist working primarily with children for more than 20 years, and I'm grateful to see issues about bullying given serious attention. The subtle and often devastating effects of children's abusive behavior to one another can have enormous ramifications, yet for too long even professional adults have dismissed much of this behavior as being 'normal.' I am glad to see the research and detail that has gone into this book. All bullying needs to be monitored and addressed so children are able to see how their behavior affects others, learn new strategies to interact with peers, and get their needs met in healthier ways." -- Kim Meinke, Licensed Mental Health Counselor "An honest and thought-provoking discussion exploring ways we can teach and support children to help them develop into capable learners and caring humans. Mah provides straight talk on how inclusion provides benefits but also many hurdles. To be truly inclusive, we have to recognize differences rather than ignore them, while teaching our students to develop better problem-solving and coping skills through strong adult support and reframing their experiences. Whether the victim or bully, all students need a better adult-supported framework for learning to work with their peers." -- Michelle Garcia Winner, Speech Language Pathologist and Social Cognitive Specialist