Having Hard Conversations

Foreword by Arthur L. Costa Preface Acknowledgments About the Author 1. What Are Hard Conversations and Why Should We Have Them? 2. Why We Hesitate Having Hard Conversations 3. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation 4. What's the Real Problem?: Finding the Professional Language to Name It 5. Making a Plan 6. Scripting Your Initial Comments 7. The Whats, Wheres, and Whens of Having the Hard Conversation 8. What Ifs? Other Types of Hard Conversations 9. Conclusion Appendix A. Extended List of Professional Behaviors Appendix B. School Savvy Etiquette Appendix C. Sample Scripts for Hard Conversations References Index

"Our teaching culture is adverse to conflict. Having tools like this will move education forward as a profession." -- Michael Grinder, National Director and Educational Consultant "A thoughtful and practical map for authentically engaging in and learning from having hard conversations. Abrams gently teaches us why having these conversations matter and how they can help us grow. Her work shines light on the landscape of personal and professional learning from engagement in hard conversations." -- Eleanor Drago-Severson, Associate Professor of Educational Leadership "A wonderful combination of coaching, consulting, and crafting a way of teaching us all to speak honestly in our relationships. From casual conversations to value conflicts, we learn to use and become sensitive to differences in gender, style, and position in this very appealing and important book. A must-read for teachers, principals, and district office personnel who care about developing a healthy school community." -- Ann Lieberman, Senior Scholar "This book has already changed my life. Just by reading it, my courage to have hard conversations has soared." -- Beth Madison, Principal "A straightforward, practical and useful guide for engaging in difficult conversations." -- Lauren Levin