All That Was not Her

Todd Meyers is Associate Professor and Marjorie Bronfman Chair in Social Studies of Medicine at McGill University.

Undoing ix 1. These Moments Formed between Us 1 2. Still Life 13 3. The Accident of Contact 41 4. Resuscitations 63 5. A Living Room 85 6. Thoughts of Suicide 97 7. [ . . . ] 123 8. Breathing Feels like a Falsehood 133 9. Notes on a New Moralism 151 10. Black Figurine 175 Reassembling 199 Notes 203 Bibliography 215

"This beautiful, smart, and unique book cuts into ethnography and race in powerful and necessary ways, stepping off the plane of current critical race theory into risky, generative thinking and writing. An intimate, frank account of a situation and relationship beyond the convenient stability of an understanding or meaning, All That Was Not Her is an absolutely compelling read." - Kathleen Stewart, coauthor of (The Hundreds) "All That Was Not Her is an exceptionally compelling reflection on the long-term complicated relationship through time between an anthropologist and a key interlocutor. Todd Meyers remarkably gets at the fraught, complex, and entangled forms of connection and difference, offering a new understanding of the interpersonal, ethical, and epistemological dimensions of work undertaken in contemporary medical and sociocultural anthropology. This is an altogether necessary book for these times." - Robert Desjarlais, author of (The Blind Man: A Phantasmography) "Meyers's conscience-driven reflections regarding the utility of his work, the shifting parameters of the researcher-interlocutor relationship, and the special challenges of communicating across gaps of class and race, form the heart of the book. He makes academic writing his leaping-off point for a deeply thoughtful, lyrically expressed ethical and philosophical enquiry. This is a book that can be slotted into many non-fiction categories, but don't be put off: it is a unique work of literature." - Ian McGillis (Montreal Gazette) "Meyers' writing is compelling for its beauty and for the honesty of his descriptions. More than anything, I took from this its head-on confrontation with the uneasiness inherent in the relationship between the ethnographer and their subject that should be familiar to anyone with experience of doing ethnographic fieldwork." - Esca van Blarikom (Sociology of Health & Illness) "The book is not about truth but about swimming in ambiguity. It is not even about the clichE conflict between 'truth' and 'accuracy,' as even these terms begin to disintegrate in the text. Meyers asks us to sit with discomfort and dwell in the fraught nature of ethnography. In this sense, the book is not quite an ethnographic portrait. It is rather an ethnography of ethnography itself-and where ethnography starts to break down." - Emily Lim Rogers (American Ethnologist) "I thoroughly enjoyed reading All That Was Not Her, by Todd Meyers. The book is beautiful to look at, with artwork unusual in an academic publication. Meyers writes well as he shares with the reader what might most easily be described as a case study. . . . This is an excellent text to prompt critical thought and debate around the important topics of ethics, power relations, and the positioning of the researcher within research that involves people as participants." - Khyati Tripathi (H-Death, H-Net Reviews) "What his account of Beverly gets her to think about, even though she can't really grasp it, is the importance of reading for negativity even in those most crushed by the violences of late liberalism. In such an enterprise, our politics will have to be vandalized, experiments in academic writing will need to be undertaken, and the failures depicted in All That Was Not Her will remain beautiful, venerable, and worthy of preservation." - Elizabeth A. Wilson (Somatosphere) "I was moved by Meyers's reflections on the unfinished: the errors, failures, and obsessions inherent to the work of an anthropologist." - Margaux Fitoussi (Somatosphere) "All That Was Not Her is an unsentimental yet vulnerable reckoning of fieldwork. An ethnography of ethnography." - Andres Romero (Somatosphere)