This poetry collection is the record of an American's return home after a decade abroad, an exile imposed solely because he loved another man. In a virtuoso display of lyric and formal inventiveness, Bellin-Oka's poems meditate on the myriad losses engendered by diaspora: of home, family and sexual identity, and spiritual certainty.'Steve Bellin-Oka's poems hold in balance an intensified language and a passionate voice that bring together the struggles of the inner life with stark realities. This is a book of arresting authenticity.' - Peter Balakian, Pulitzer-Prize winner and judge From 'Self-Portrait as the Chosen One' Long before I was what I am now, short of breath, bald, just returned with arthritic knees from exile in another country's muck and red volcanic soil, too near-sighted to discern the High Plains tumbleweed from the burning bush of myth, scorched now and silent, long before this, I was the first son my mother bore that lived.
