ContentsIntroduction xi1 The Roles of the Lawyer and the Litigant 11. Similar Cases; Extremely Different Results 52 Understanding the Situation Litigation May Not BeNecessary 113 Think Positively about Your Divorce 281. Encouragement 332. Communication 343. Why Can't Couples Settle Immediately after TheySeparate? 384. You Can Be Happy with Your Divorce 404 What You Need to Know about Hiring Legal Counsel 421. When Should You Hire a Lawyer? 451.1 Before you separate 451.2 Before you sign any documents 461.3 If something doesn't feel right 46vi The Separation Guide2. How to Find a Lawyer 462.1 Prepare for the initial interview 503. Retainers and Legal Fees 504. If There's Fear or Violence in the Relationship 585. Don't Make Any Decisions in Haste Consult with Legal Counsel First 606. Still Not Convinced to Seek Legal Counsel? 617. When Don't You Need to Hire a Lawyer? 657.1 When you tell your spouse you want to separate 657.2 When you are dealing with everyday minorfamily issues 657.3 When you need financial advice 667.4 When you need psychological counseling 678. Consider Other Dispute Resolution Options 679. Circumstances in Which an Amicable DivorceMay Not Be Possible 689.1 The inveterate liar 689.2 The psychologically unstable spouse 709.3 The physically disabled or abused spouse 7110. An Important Note about Confidentialityand Privilege 7111. Firing Your Lawyer 725 Marriage and Separation Counseling 756 Getting Started 781. Where, When, and How Will You Announce YourIntention to Separate? 792. What Are Your Objectives? 813. Who Will Be Present During Your Discussions? 834. Have You Prepared a Statement of Issues(or Agenda)? 835. Have You Prepared a Statement of Assets andLiabilities? 846. What If Your Spouse Refuses to Acceptthe Separation, or Refuses to Talk Settlement? 85Contents vii7. Record Your Progress The Separation Agreement 877 Disclosure 911. Nondisclosure Is a Crime 922. Undervaluing Assets 933. Disclosure: Common Sense Principles 974. Situations in Which Disclosure Is Not Simple 978 Assets 1001. The Family Home 1002. Pensions 1073. Property Transfers 1094. Family Business or Company 1134.1 Valuation and compensation of a businessinterest 1155. Resolve Liability Issues 1169 Negotiating Who Gets What 1191. Dividing the Small Household Items 1222. What to Do When You Come Across Obstaclesin the Negotiation Process 1243. Conduct and Other Allegations 1274. Signing the Agreement 1294.1 Parties of the agreement 1304.2 The parties must be competent to sign theagreement 1314.3 Sign the agreement in front of two witnesses 13110 The Divorce 1331. The Necessity of Legal Advice When It Comes Timeto Divorce 1342. Divorce Costs 1353. Post-Divorce Problems 13611 Changing the Agreement 13812 Update Your Will 142Resources 145viii The Separation GuideSamples1 Separation Agenda 842 Statement of Assets and Liabilities 853 Letter to the Fund Administrator 109
